standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
