She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
