Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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