If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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