Yo dont text me then not text me
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
