I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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