No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
