Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm like, not good at living.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize