Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
