i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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