He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
