my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
