so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
There are leaves in my underwear?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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