I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I take back everything I said about communal showers
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
