So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Porn is love you can see.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
