I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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