so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
