So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
