You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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