You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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