She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
