dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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