My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
