Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
