halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
