If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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