Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
