i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize