is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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