Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
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I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
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I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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