If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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