Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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