I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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