What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
