if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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