thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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