i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
im on a boat
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