you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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