with your own penis?
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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