I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
