Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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