Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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