Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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