my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
tequila makes me forget i have legs
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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