is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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