Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
