put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Randomize
