let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
