I bet he comes in French.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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