i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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