so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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