me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
