just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
