i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
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I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
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Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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