Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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