she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
