Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
