are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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