first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize