He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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