it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
