i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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