Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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