Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
