I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
