Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
