Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
