He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
