Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
