he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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