You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I smell like Dick and happiness
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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