i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
